B
BoundariesBoundaries A boundary is a limit or space between you and another person to keep you safe. Boundaries are essential to having strong and healthy relationships.
Blame-shiftingBlame-shifting The action of shifting one's blame onto an innocent person or victim.
Brain fogBrain fog A mental state in which a person has difficulties to think clearly or be fully present. Brain fog can be a symptom of complex post-traumatic stress.
C
Cluster BCluster B A group of personality disorders in the DSM-5 characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior: narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and histrionic personality disorder.
Cognitive dissonanceCognitive dissonance A feeling of doubt and confusion when perceiving contradictory information or beliefs.
CompartmentalizationCompartmentalization Separating people, events, thoughts, and feelings from each other. Narcissists often compartmentalize to maintain a double life.
Complex post-traumatic stressComplex post-traumatic stress Complex post-traumatic stress is a possible diagnosis in people who have repeatedly experienced traumatic events, such as violence, neglect, or abuse.
Covert narcissismCovert narcissism Narcissistic traits and behavior that are not immediately recognizable as such; the opposite of overt narcissism. Covert narcissists engage in high levels of impression management and/or often pretend to be the victim in order to save face.
D
Dark TriadDark Triad The Dark Triad of personality consists of Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy.
DevaluationDevaluation The second and often longest stage of narcissistic abuse in which a victim is being devalued and abused by a narcissist.
DiscardDiscard The third stage of narcissistic abuse. A narcissist's abrupt or drawn-out process of leaving a victim. Victims often feel used and 'discarded' should they not be the one leaving/escaping first.
DisplacementDisplacement Displacement is a psychological, often unconscious, defense mechanism in which a person redirects an emotional reaction from the rightful recipient onto another person or object.
DissociationDissociation A mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity that is often experienced in survival mode.
F
Fear responseFear response A physical reaction to a perceived threat that is triggered in the amygdala, such as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
FlashbackFlashback An intrusive memory from the past that is perceived as something, often traumatic, happening in the present. Flashbacks can be a symptom of complex post-traumatic stress.
Flying monkeyFlying monkey A narcissist's loyal supporter and enabler.
FOGFOG A term coined by Susan Forward, suggesting that fear, obligation, and guilt are the dynamics in emotional blackmail between the manipulator and the victim. (fear, obligation, guilt)
G
GaslightingGaslighting A form of covert psychological manipulation in which an abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Victims end up questioning their own reality.
GhostingGhosting A rejection without closure by abruptly cutting all contact to a person without any warning or explanation. Ghosting is not the same as no contact.
Gray rockGray rock To gray rock someone means to divert a toxic person's behavior or interest in you by acting as boring, unresponsive, and unengaged as possible.
GroomingGrooming Grooming is the manipulative act of building trust and an emotional connection to someone so the person can be exploited and abused.
H
HooveringHoovering A narcissist's attempt to lure (hoover) a former victim back into the cycle of abuse. Also known as the fourth stage of narcissistic abuse.
I
IdealizationIdealization In the course of idealization and beginning stages of narcissistic abuse, an unsuspecting victim is made to feel desired by a narcissist to quickly build a shallow attraction between them. The narcissist puts the victim on a figurative pedestal, bombarding him/her with admiration. Recurring phases of idealization during the devaluation, discard, or hoovering phase are known as re-idealization. (Also see love-bombing)
L
Love-bombingLove-bombing A narcissist's shallow showering of a victim with love and affection in the first stage of narcissistic abuse (also see idealization).
M
MachiavellianismMachiavellianism Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, an absence of morality, unemotional callousness, and a higher level of self-interest.
Malignant narcissismMalignant narcissism Malignant narcissism is a psychological syndrome comprising an extreme mix of narcissism, antisocial behavior, aggression, and sadism.
ManipulationManipulation An often insidious and strategic action of making someone to do something in favor of the manipulator.
N
NarcissismNarcissism Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy.
Narcissistic abuse (brief summary)
Narcissistic collapseNarcissistic collapse Narcissistic collapse or decompensation refers to a state a narcissist is in when reacting to a lack of narcissistic supply, humiliation, or failure.
Narcissistic personality disorderNarcissistic personality disorder A mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. Also see Narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic rageNarcissistic rage An outburst of intense anger, aggression, or passive-aggression by someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic supplyNarcissistic supply A narcissist is in a constant need for narcissistic supply which can be anything that makes the narcissist feel valuable, important, and happy.
No contactNo contact The action of ceasing all contact to an often toxic or abusive person.
O
ObjectificationObjectification The act of treating and using people like mere objects or things.
Overt narcissismOvert narcissism Narcissistic traits and behavior that are immediately recognizable as such; the opposite of covert narcissism.
P
ProjectionProjection Attributing one's own traits and qualities (often negative) to another person.
Psychic bondPsychic bond The belief that there is a spiritual or supernatural connection between an abuser and victim due to deep psychological manipulation and trauma bonding. Victims often experience close to telepathic experiences with their abusers. Also known as soul ties.
PsychopathyPsychopathy Psychopathy is characterized by continuous antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callous and unemotional traits, and remorselessness.
S
Silent treatmentSilent treatment The refusal to communicate with someone who is willing to communicate. Narcissist may use the silent treatment as a form of manipulation and control. It often forces their victims into self-reflection, overthinking, and eventually blaming themselves.
Smear campaignSmear campaign A deliberate attack and effort to damage or call into question someone's reputation by propounding negative propaganda or spreading an untrue and unpleasant rumour about them.
Support systemSupport system A supportive group or network of people aiding a victim.
Survival modeSurvival mode A state that victims adopt in short- or long-term high-stress situations in order to survive mentally and/or physically.
SurvivorSurvivor A person or former victim who has survived a traumatic event.
T
Trauma bondingTrauma bonding An emotional attachment to someone who is causing trauma in a cycle of abuse.
TriangulationTriangulation Triangulation occurs when a narcissist pits two targets or victims against each other in an effort to create conflict or instill jealousy in a love triangle situation.
V
Victim-blamingVictim-blaming Falsely blaming and holding a victim responsible for their abuse and instilling guilt and shame while doing so. Also known as victim-shaming.
VictimhoodVictimhood A state of being a victim or a mentality in which a person considers him/herself a victim (also known as victim mentality).
VictimizationVictimization The act of turning a person into a victim.
Victim mentalityVictim mentality An acquired personality trait in which a person tends to consider him/herself a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances (also see victimhood).
VulnerabilityVulnerability The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness.
W
Word saladWord salad A confused or unintelligible mixture of seemingly random words and phrases.